I feel like a fucking loser, lower then dirt. I feel worthless.

Today I saw some ass push down an old lady and run away with her purse. I didn't know what was happening. One moment I was tying my shoe and the next, there is a little old lady like 150 feet from me screaming her head off. I looked up and looked around. I didn't know what was happening, caught a look at a rapidly fleeing bright blue spot and all I can do is watch this guy run away. I just STOOD there!!! It was just me and this other guy in a suit next to me on the sidewalk. I'm so fucking stupid. I didn't do anything but stand there with my mouth open.

What pains me the most is that with the distance he had to run that corner and the distance I had to run in a straight line, I think I probably could have caught him. AND I JUST STOOD THERE!!!! what does that say about me? Stupid fucking idiot that just watches while a little old lady is robbed. My sister didn't help matters much either. She yelled at me asking 'why I didn't do anything'. I didn't know what was happening. But I have to admit, I think I hesitated. I felt horrible the whole day, I wanted to cry. And I got the feeling that my friend's brother probably felt the same way my sister had. She says she would have thrown a rock at him. Yeah, right. Saying one and doing is another. Not that a rock would have done much, considering she actually found one. I still feel horrible. You don't know how much I hate myself right now. I'm really upset, though some of that could be from being too tired.

My mom says I couldn't do anything about it. But the thing is that I could've. I know regret won't change anything now, but I still could've done at least something.

God, I feel so selfish. Forgive me God. I'm going to hell, and I wouldn't complain. I really hate myself. Stupid worthless moron. Tara was right, I am a bitch and all the above.
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